Thursday, September 23, 2010

To victim blame or not to victim blame: It's not really a question...

A friend recently sent me a link to a facebook group page for NSCS, a national honors society for college students. On this page they had posted a link to a Huffington Post Article about high rape statistics, particularly in college, and violence in relationships starting at a young age. Then it asked students in the society to provide their thoughts on the situation. After reading through these comments, I was upset for a number of reasons. (Here is a link to the page, and the rape article comments are about halfway down the page: http://www.facebook.com/posted.php?id=9523407602&share_id=107096546018093&comments=1)

Fortunately there was only one very ignorant victim-blaming comment along the lines of "if girls weren't so boy crazy and interested in drinking and slutting around then this wouldn't happen... (insert typical avoid the actual problem of rape bullshit)." I feel disgusted that even one person would comment in this way and do feel the need to take a moment to point out as usual that RAPE VICTIMS ARE VICTIMS. They are not ever responsible for the rape. Were it not for rapists, women could drink and engage in consensual sex and not have to worry about being violated by having another person force them into sex. That combined with the fact that most rapes occur by someone the victim knows would make any sensible person realize that rapists are the only ones to blame. That being said, I was relieved that there was only one such comment.

I was, however, concerned by the fact that the vast majority of people who commented were focused solely on how women should go about preventing rape rather than responding about the atrocity that is rape. This brings up an issue that I always take in discussions about rape. I do not think that there is anything wrong with women encouraging each other to take self defense classes and go out in groups. Obviously, preventive measures should be taken, and that's sadly just the way it is. However, there is too much focus on it. We all know about the dangers of rape and we all know what we should do to keep it from happening. When we spend so much time focusing on preventing rape, it invalidates the horror of rape because it makes women think that they should have done something to stop it. In reality, it doesn't matter how much we do to prevent it, if there's a person that is willing to rape, not only is it out of our control, but it should be completely out of the realm of blame for the victim.

Instead of asking 'what could I do to keep this from happening to me' which is really only a veiled cover for the question 'what should that person have done to prevent it from happening to her?' we should be asking 'What the hell gives rapists the right to violate victims?' or 'How do we make sure that more rapists are being punished for their actions so that we can send a message that we will no longer accept rape as a necessary part of society?' or 'How do we make sure that the children we raise know how unacceptable, atrocious, and disgusting any person that would rape and how very wrong and evil the action is?' If we start asking those kinds of questions then maybe we might actually be able to prevent rape.

Furthermore, a great concern to my friend and me was the fact that three different people commented suggesting that women in college take online classes as a preventive measure to rape. I don't even know where to begin dissecting how sad that is. These people are honestly suggesting that women stop taking face to face courses, not because it's more convenient to their lifestyle, but because that is the only way we can think to avoid being raped. Next, people are going to be suggesting that women make sure they're home by sundown, or better yet, that women don't leave their homes at all. They can work from home, and hire people to go out and buy their groceries. You know what, better yet, why don't we stop having babies until we can make sure that women are not being born at all, then no women will be raped.

Okay, so maybe this is an extreme example, but the point is, it is just so sad that in our society we find it more acceptable to encourage women to inconvenience themselves to stay away from rape victims than to discourage potential rapists (meaning all society members) from inconveniencing themselves by not raping. If we really want to end rape, we need to fight it at its source. We need to start pressuring the government to hold rapists accountable and make damn sure they end up where they belong--rotting in a jail cell for the rest of their lives. We need to teach not only young women but also young men about rape, and focus more on educating them about how horrible it is than how to "make sure it doesn't happen to you." We need to stop making it okay, and we need to stop putting the responsibility of rape on the victims.

1 comment:

  1. I truly agree with your point. We live in a world where the society tells the girls that don't get raped instead of telling their sons that stop raping. Its just that we are to blamed if we get raped. And what about the testosterone charged bodies around us? Do they lack self-control? Why don't people just understand a simple fact that it is the lack of etiquette they have imbibed in their sons which is a major cause of us being the victim. RAPISTS SHOULD BE SENTENCED TO DEATH! Because it is a crime which not at all deserves mercy! I have a similar view point on the topic. I am attaching the link of my article. Do share your views on the same.
    http://mamtadagar1896.wordpress.com/2014/05/28/excuse-me-where-are-your-daughters-gentlemen/

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