I recently finished Ariel Levy’s Female Chauvinist Pigs. I found it interesting, but I also came to the conclusion that I am torn on several issues she discussed. Among Levy’s targeted “Raunch Culture,” that she highlights are pornography, Girls Gone Wild, bikini waxes, skimpy clothing, and thongs. She criticizes society for taking good feminist ideals of the past and running off into an oversexualized culture that lives under the guise of “empowered women” who are sexually liberated.
First I will address the topic I agree with…that the Girls Gone Wild craze is much less empowerment of women and much more objectification of them. Sexual freedom is wonderful, and I do not believe that women should be ashamed of their bodies or their sexuality. However, the line is crossed somewhere when women fail to respect themselves and instead drunkenly flash cameras in order to achieve some false sense of being sexy. Those girls are not empowering themselves to be equal to men. Men are not flashing cameras in a drunken college spring break trip. Instead they are sitting back and ordering videos of silly barely-legal-girls doing so. And I certainly can see how it would be a slap in the face to women who marched for equality in the 60’s to see that what they fought for ended up being for girls to lose control of their inhibitions and show off their bodies purely for the pleasure of men.
Pornography, however, is a little more complicated of an issue in my mind. I don’t think the idea of pornography is anything wrong. Porn is not women displaying their bodies for a man to get off on, it’s an art form designed to assist or provide arousal, for men and women. That in it of itself is not a bad thing. Of course, the industry has taken a very dirty turn, and the women who are offering their bodies are underpaid and subjected to rape and other forms of violence. And a great deal of porn which promotes violence towards women in the bedroom as well as a strict pattern of male dominance/female submission does exist. But to me, the pornography industry is salvageable. It is an issue which needs to be addressed. But I think women would get a lot farther in that issue if they focus on promoting women-friendly porn rather than insinuating that the entire industry is guilty of objectifying women.
Now on to the other topics, which are even less black and white. Levy writes with a negative connotation about bikini waxes, breast implants, thongs, pole dancing, and many other issues regarding sexuality. Her point is valid in ways but I think a bit extremist as well. Women do these things to seem sexier. Is there anything wrong with wanting to be sexy? Yes and no. No, in that wanting to arouse your partner is normal and very justified. But yes, in that we must acknowledge that the association between these events and the idea of “sexy” is a direct result of patriarchy. Why would women want breast implants? Certainly not just because it seems fun. Instead, it is because we have somehow come to view big breasts as desirable and sexual, and anything else as lacking in those areas. And, as Levy also points out, there is a danger in somehow insinuating that these topics are a necessary part of being sexy. We have begun to somehow link “sexy” and “slutty.”
This is where Levy and I differ, however. She seems to think that we need to acknowledge that sluttiness is not providing us with true sexuality, and that it makes women feel as though they have to measure up to certain ideals of “raunch culture” in order to maintain sexuality. I, on the other hand, think that “slutty” is an unfair idea and needs to be done away with, along with “raunch” and everything associated with it. We don’t slap that label on men, so why should we slap it on women? Furthermore, Levy writes that our culture is often more about perceived sluttiness than actual sexual experience. That makes it more necessary to eliminate this stigma about sexualized women. If we do away with this idea of the slut then perhaps women won’t feel the need to measure up to it in order to be sexy. This would require men to make up their minds, however. They want to view strippers and promiscuous girls as sexy and physically attractive, but their sexual experiences make them undesirable. I have heard many men indicate that women who seem “easy” in a bar would be sexually unsatisfying. They want women who are somewhere in between prude and slut…women who can hold their own sexually but have not had so many sexual partners that they are considered “whores.” And since there is no line for where that idea becomes defined, it seems illogical to me to further the degrading images of “slut” and “whore.” I truly believe that if we could eliminate these stereotypes we would be in a much better place to bring sexy back to a place of choice. And that’s what it should be about….the choice of how to display your desires and how to arouse your partner. Not conforming to a cultural ideal of “sexy” that involves flashing your breasts on television and wearing practically nothing.
If it were up to me, women would all respect their bodies. Girls Gone Wild would not exist. Females in the pornography industry would ban together and, with the help of women everywhere, demand respect and proper treatment. Women would want to convey sexuality to those they directly wanted to arouse rather than to an audience of people they have no sexual connection with. Women would wax what they want to wax and wear what they want to wear, with no cultural pressure placed on their sexuality. But it isn’t up to me. Do I think girls flashing their breasts on Girls Gone Wild are empowered? Absolutely not. Do I think women with Brazilian waxes or who take pole dancing classes are sexually liberated? Maybe, maybe not. It depends on their reasoning behind why they are choosing to do so. But it isn’t my place to tell them that they are acting “slutty.” It isn’t anyone’s place. I do wish everyone would acknowledge their own reasoning and take control of their own sexuality. And I certainly agree with Levy that women need to understand that striving to please men and being sexually liberated are two very, very different things.
Next week I will delve deeper into Female Chauvinist Pigs by looking at a topic that I myself am partially guilty of….becoming a Female Chauvinist Pig.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Sugar and Spice
From the time we are very little, we are gender stereotyped. Little girls are made of “sugar and spice and everything nice,” and little boys are made of “snakes, snails, and puppy dog tails.” And the lines of masculinity and femininity never fade away. Instead, they become more and more strict, and more and more dangerous. By the time we become teenagers, the lines are very particular. Men are strong, confident, sexual, and competitive. Women are nurturing, easygoing, innocent and submissive.
This double standard is harmful to both men and women everywhere, especially our youth. The idea that men and women are so intrinsically different is ridiculous enough in it of itself. Behavior exists on an individual basis, regardless of whether a person is a man or a woman. And the masculinity/femininity theory does no good to anyone, and instead only functions as making anyone that does not fall on the correct side of that line feel abnormal and insecure. Rather than trying to designate behaviors as “masculine” and “feminine,” we should be trying harder to identify behaviors as “human.”
Furthermore, it sets up a dangerous precedent, particularly in the area of sexuality. The behavior patterns attributed to manliness and womanliness create an idea that men are created to pursue women sexually. With women, however, the role is more unclear. They are created to be submissive, and yet they are created to be innocent. This establishes that they are supposed to resist men’s sexual overtures, though they are eventually meant to submit to a man. That is a bit of a paradox, especially for women who happen to have their own sexual urges. However, the masculinity/femininity line doesn’t take women’s sexual urges into account. That would disrupt the idea of girls as gatekeepers of sexual innocence. These theories are harmful and illogical. If we admitted that men and women do not have a particular set of behaviors destined based on their gender, then we could overcome harmful sexual stereotypes.
The worst part of the masculinity/femininity line, however, is that the ideas of masculinity and femininity are less about men behaving like men and women behaving like women and more about men not behaving like women. It is common for women to cross the line. In fact, women are often encouraged to behave like “one of the guys.” Men, however, are greatly discouraged from crossing the line. The worst insults for a man are often derivatives of terms associated with the opposite sex (i.e. pussy) and men often fear being labeled as such. Not only does this provide potential harm for men who might not identify with “masculine” qualities, but it shows that our society undervalues women and views them as weak and inferior.
All people should be able to live as they choose, without being pressured into exhibiting particular behavior patterns because of their gender. And neither sex should be seen as superior or inferior. We need to eliminate the strict ideas of “masculinity” and “femininity.” They have no place in progressed society, and serve only to harm individuals.
This double standard is harmful to both men and women everywhere, especially our youth. The idea that men and women are so intrinsically different is ridiculous enough in it of itself. Behavior exists on an individual basis, regardless of whether a person is a man or a woman. And the masculinity/femininity theory does no good to anyone, and instead only functions as making anyone that does not fall on the correct side of that line feel abnormal and insecure. Rather than trying to designate behaviors as “masculine” and “feminine,” we should be trying harder to identify behaviors as “human.”
Furthermore, it sets up a dangerous precedent, particularly in the area of sexuality. The behavior patterns attributed to manliness and womanliness create an idea that men are created to pursue women sexually. With women, however, the role is more unclear. They are created to be submissive, and yet they are created to be innocent. This establishes that they are supposed to resist men’s sexual overtures, though they are eventually meant to submit to a man. That is a bit of a paradox, especially for women who happen to have their own sexual urges. However, the masculinity/femininity line doesn’t take women’s sexual urges into account. That would disrupt the idea of girls as gatekeepers of sexual innocence. These theories are harmful and illogical. If we admitted that men and women do not have a particular set of behaviors destined based on their gender, then we could overcome harmful sexual stereotypes.
The worst part of the masculinity/femininity line, however, is that the ideas of masculinity and femininity are less about men behaving like men and women behaving like women and more about men not behaving like women. It is common for women to cross the line. In fact, women are often encouraged to behave like “one of the guys.” Men, however, are greatly discouraged from crossing the line. The worst insults for a man are often derivatives of terms associated with the opposite sex (i.e. pussy) and men often fear being labeled as such. Not only does this provide potential harm for men who might not identify with “masculine” qualities, but it shows that our society undervalues women and views them as weak and inferior.
All people should be able to live as they choose, without being pressured into exhibiting particular behavior patterns because of their gender. And neither sex should be seen as superior or inferior. We need to eliminate the strict ideas of “masculinity” and “femininity.” They have no place in progressed society, and serve only to harm individuals.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Blaming the Victim
It’s time to talk about rape. Nobody likes to talk about it, nobody likes to think about it. It’s sad, terrifying, and disgusting. But it happens. Every two minutes. It’s happening now, and by the time you finish reading this it will happen again. So I want to talk about it. And more importantly, I want to talk about rape victims. Victims. That’s right. They are not slutty women who evoked uncontrollable sexual urges in a man. They are not vengeful women who want to ruin a man’s life. They are not stupid women who threw themselves into dangerous situations. They are women who were raped—forced, against their will, to have sex.
I want to know when it is okay to blame the victim. It is a common practice in our society to do so. At the bottom of the page is a link to a BBC article written in February providing statistics of a survey that indicates frightening statistics about blaming the victim. A vast majority of people polled indicated that under some circumstances, the rape victim is partially to blame. So I want to know when it is okay to blame the victim.
How about when she’s dressed like a slut? This is something I hear a lot, that a woman was “asking for it” if she was “dressed like that.” This argument is damaging, obviously to rape victims, who have just gone through the potentially most traumatic event of their lives and are now being blamed for something they had no choose about, but also to all men and women. Women: How often have you stepped out of the house in something that showed a little bit of cleavage or leg? Or even something that hugged your form? Were you aware that by doing so you were inviting all men to rape you? And what exactly is the line for provocative clothing? For anyone who thinks that a woman is to blame because of how she dresses, can you please go through my closet and tell me which clothes say “Rape me please” and which ones don’t? A woman should have the right to dress how she wants and not worry about being raped. If we blame the victim for dressing in revealing clothing then we are saying that our bodies are made to be raped, and that if we show off too much of them it’s just going to happen. And this theory is just as harmful to men. It indicates that men are highly sexualized creatures who have no control over their actions when they see a woman’s body. That’s ridiculous. Plenty of men have seen a “provocatively” dressed woman and not raped her. That is because a woman’s body is not asking to be raped, and decent men are not waiting around to rape women if they see enough skin.
How about when she walks alone at night? This theory astounds me. I have often walked alone at night because I did not have a car, or I was close enough to home to do so. And I should be able to do so….I should be able to walk alone at night and not be raped. Yes, there are precautions I can take, but instead of focusing on that, we should be focusing on why men are raping women in the first place. Instead of thinking, “She shouldn’t have been walking alone” we should be thinking “He shouldn’t have thought that her walking alone gives him the right to rape her.”
Or what about when she flirts with a man at a bar who later rapes her? What if she goes home with him? This theory indicates that if a woman flirts with a man she has some sort of responsibility to follow through on that flirtation by sleeping with him. And if she doesn’t do so, she should expect to be raped. So I guess we should do one of two things: Either we should never go out, never look at men, never flirt, or we should have sex with every man we come across. Otherwise, we’re asking to be raped.
No matter what the circumstances are, a woman is never, ever asking to be raped. We need to quit blaming the victim and start focusing on the rapist. Remember him? The rapist. The one who decided he had the right to ruin a woman’s life by forcing her to have sex with him? He’s the predator, he’s the criminal. The woman doesn’t need to be put on trial. First of all, all these rape theories leave out the truth that everyone likes to forget: most of the time, the rapist is not a stranger. He’s not just someone lurking in the shadows that saw a woman and had to have her. He is a familiar entity in the woman’s life. Second of all, rape is not about sex, it’s about power. If we rely on these theories then we are saying that rape is caused by uncontrolled urges of men, and that they simply can’t help themselves if women are giving them the opportunity. Third of all, it’s ridiculous to expect that women must avoid being raped. Rapists need to avoid raping. The only way I could insure that I am never raped would be to stay at home, never go outside, and wear a chastity belt, just in case someone broke in the house. Perhaps that’s what all women should do. Then maybe, they wouldn’t be blamed if they were raped.
So why do we blame rape victims? It’s a defense mechanism to keep ourselves separated from the situation. If I say that a woman was raped because of a specific reason, then I can feel safe. Then I can say, I won’t be raped because I won’t do that. But the truth is we are all in danger of rape. And not because of our own actions, but because there are sick people in the world who think it’s okay for them to rape. The only way we can hope to lower the rape rates is to quit blaming the victim or avoid addressing rape. We have to acknowledge it and start placing the blame where it belongs. Then perhaps we can start taking rape seriously as a crime. Our only hope is to show rape as what it truly is and should be considered: a heinous, unacceptable crime for which a rapist should be severely punished.
Click here to be linked to the BBC article:
"Women say Rape Victims Should Take the Blame"
**As a side note, I do realize this blog is limited because it refers to the victim as a woman. Men are also raped, and I will blog about that as well. I focused on women because they are the primary victims of the crime, but anyone can be raped, and no one is ever responsible for being raped.
I want to know when it is okay to blame the victim. It is a common practice in our society to do so. At the bottom of the page is a link to a BBC article written in February providing statistics of a survey that indicates frightening statistics about blaming the victim. A vast majority of people polled indicated that under some circumstances, the rape victim is partially to blame. So I want to know when it is okay to blame the victim.
How about when she’s dressed like a slut? This is something I hear a lot, that a woman was “asking for it” if she was “dressed like that.” This argument is damaging, obviously to rape victims, who have just gone through the potentially most traumatic event of their lives and are now being blamed for something they had no choose about, but also to all men and women. Women: How often have you stepped out of the house in something that showed a little bit of cleavage or leg? Or even something that hugged your form? Were you aware that by doing so you were inviting all men to rape you? And what exactly is the line for provocative clothing? For anyone who thinks that a woman is to blame because of how she dresses, can you please go through my closet and tell me which clothes say “Rape me please” and which ones don’t? A woman should have the right to dress how she wants and not worry about being raped. If we blame the victim for dressing in revealing clothing then we are saying that our bodies are made to be raped, and that if we show off too much of them it’s just going to happen. And this theory is just as harmful to men. It indicates that men are highly sexualized creatures who have no control over their actions when they see a woman’s body. That’s ridiculous. Plenty of men have seen a “provocatively” dressed woman and not raped her. That is because a woman’s body is not asking to be raped, and decent men are not waiting around to rape women if they see enough skin.
How about when she walks alone at night? This theory astounds me. I have often walked alone at night because I did not have a car, or I was close enough to home to do so. And I should be able to do so….I should be able to walk alone at night and not be raped. Yes, there are precautions I can take, but instead of focusing on that, we should be focusing on why men are raping women in the first place. Instead of thinking, “She shouldn’t have been walking alone” we should be thinking “He shouldn’t have thought that her walking alone gives him the right to rape her.”
Or what about when she flirts with a man at a bar who later rapes her? What if she goes home with him? This theory indicates that if a woman flirts with a man she has some sort of responsibility to follow through on that flirtation by sleeping with him. And if she doesn’t do so, she should expect to be raped. So I guess we should do one of two things: Either we should never go out, never look at men, never flirt, or we should have sex with every man we come across. Otherwise, we’re asking to be raped.
No matter what the circumstances are, a woman is never, ever asking to be raped. We need to quit blaming the victim and start focusing on the rapist. Remember him? The rapist. The one who decided he had the right to ruin a woman’s life by forcing her to have sex with him? He’s the predator, he’s the criminal. The woman doesn’t need to be put on trial. First of all, all these rape theories leave out the truth that everyone likes to forget: most of the time, the rapist is not a stranger. He’s not just someone lurking in the shadows that saw a woman and had to have her. He is a familiar entity in the woman’s life. Second of all, rape is not about sex, it’s about power. If we rely on these theories then we are saying that rape is caused by uncontrolled urges of men, and that they simply can’t help themselves if women are giving them the opportunity. Third of all, it’s ridiculous to expect that women must avoid being raped. Rapists need to avoid raping. The only way I could insure that I am never raped would be to stay at home, never go outside, and wear a chastity belt, just in case someone broke in the house. Perhaps that’s what all women should do. Then maybe, they wouldn’t be blamed if they were raped.
So why do we blame rape victims? It’s a defense mechanism to keep ourselves separated from the situation. If I say that a woman was raped because of a specific reason, then I can feel safe. Then I can say, I won’t be raped because I won’t do that. But the truth is we are all in danger of rape. And not because of our own actions, but because there are sick people in the world who think it’s okay for them to rape. The only way we can hope to lower the rape rates is to quit blaming the victim or avoid addressing rape. We have to acknowledge it and start placing the blame where it belongs. Then perhaps we can start taking rape seriously as a crime. Our only hope is to show rape as what it truly is and should be considered: a heinous, unacceptable crime for which a rapist should be severely punished.
Click here to be linked to the BBC article:
"Women say Rape Victims Should Take the Blame"
**As a side note, I do realize this blog is limited because it refers to the victim as a woman. Men are also raped, and I will blog about that as well. I focused on women because they are the primary victims of the crime, but anyone can be raped, and no one is ever responsible for being raped.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Goals
What is feminism? There are many definitions for the term, and all with very different connotations. But I define it as the critique of the inequality of the sexes, and the fight to diminish that inequality. And yes, I am a feminist.
I am feminine. In fact, many of my friends make fun of my girliness, including my three closets full of clothes, my eighty pairs of shoes, or my baskets of jewelry and other accessories. I straighten my hair, I shave my legs, I wear dresses, I put on makeup. I am heterosexual. I have a wonderful boyfriend whom I love, and have never had a problem finding loving, fulfilling relationships. I do not hate children, though I do not harbor a desire to reproduce at this time. I work at a preschool and love every minute I spend with my kids there. All of this is true about me, and yet I am a feminist.
Women have come a long way since the days preceding the first wave of feminism. American women are able to enjoy many equalities and freedoms that women before the feminist movements were unable to enjoy. Unfortunately, we still have a long way to go before we can say we have achieved true equality. Post-feminism is nonexistent. Many people use this term to indicate that we have moved on socially, past the need for feminism. I strongly disagree.
Obviously there are many other countries in the world in which the women have it worse than we do in America and other developed countries. However, I am not willing to accept the inequalities we do have because other women have it worse. There are still countless problems that women in America face, from attitudes to gender stereotyping to unequal pay and appreciation to violence. And as a young woman in America, I want to change that. I can’t change the world, but I think I can at least make an impact. And if I can’t, I must still try. But how do I do so?
The only place I can think to start is attitudes. If we change the attitudes directed towards women then we will have a better chance at changing policies and discrimination. To start, I will use this blog to conquer some of the major problems I see in attitudes towards women. These are the beliefs and attitudes that I think will be primarily addressing with this blog:
1. Attitudes about rape: If we are to advance gender relations, we must stop blaming rape victims. Rape apologists, no means yes theories, and blaming the victim must cease. This to me is the number one issue in American feminism.
2. Sexuality: As long as we continue to view men as more sexual than women, we will face problems in conquering inequality. Women are sexual beings as well. The theory that women are less sexual than men leads to countless problems, including the aforementioned rape attitudes and several other attitudes as well.
3. Gender stereotyping in the family: I also refer to this issue as the provider/nurturer fallacy. While we continue to believe that the “natural” way of life is for men to be providers and women to be nurturers, we can never conquer sexism.
4. The masculinity/femininity line: We are taught from an early age that there is masculinity and feminity. Masculinity often involves strength, dominance, and competitive nature. Femininity is often associated with emotion, submission, and a more amiable disposition. The very idea that there is a strict difference in masculine and feminine is harmful to the progression of femininity. In actuality, these traits are more individualized, and any man or woman can have any combination of traits. The theory of strict difference is often used to justify sexist behavior.
5. The discriminatory isms: Sexism corresponds with heterosexism (discrimination against non heterosexual individuals), classism (discrimination between social classes), racism, and other less obvious isms, such as sizeism, ableism, and beautyism. If we allow one form of discrimination to be acceptable, where do we draw the line? As one who fights for the equality of women, I fight for the equality of all people everywhere.
These five topics are the ones that I will primarily focus on throughout the course of the blog. They cover only a small portion of feminism, but I do believe that if we change these five attitudes we could move forward in giant bounds.
I will blog about these topics and others, instigate social experiments and projects, research and critique article and books, and implement these ideas into my daily life. The goal of this blog is to instigate social change. Perhaps that is too high of an expectation, but I think it is reasonable. Feel free to read, comment, critique, suggest, participate….but please, be respectful and constructive.
I am feminine. In fact, many of my friends make fun of my girliness, including my three closets full of clothes, my eighty pairs of shoes, or my baskets of jewelry and other accessories. I straighten my hair, I shave my legs, I wear dresses, I put on makeup. I am heterosexual. I have a wonderful boyfriend whom I love, and have never had a problem finding loving, fulfilling relationships. I do not hate children, though I do not harbor a desire to reproduce at this time. I work at a preschool and love every minute I spend with my kids there. All of this is true about me, and yet I am a feminist.
Women have come a long way since the days preceding the first wave of feminism. American women are able to enjoy many equalities and freedoms that women before the feminist movements were unable to enjoy. Unfortunately, we still have a long way to go before we can say we have achieved true equality. Post-feminism is nonexistent. Many people use this term to indicate that we have moved on socially, past the need for feminism. I strongly disagree.
Obviously there are many other countries in the world in which the women have it worse than we do in America and other developed countries. However, I am not willing to accept the inequalities we do have because other women have it worse. There are still countless problems that women in America face, from attitudes to gender stereotyping to unequal pay and appreciation to violence. And as a young woman in America, I want to change that. I can’t change the world, but I think I can at least make an impact. And if I can’t, I must still try. But how do I do so?
The only place I can think to start is attitudes. If we change the attitudes directed towards women then we will have a better chance at changing policies and discrimination. To start, I will use this blog to conquer some of the major problems I see in attitudes towards women. These are the beliefs and attitudes that I think will be primarily addressing with this blog:
1. Attitudes about rape: If we are to advance gender relations, we must stop blaming rape victims. Rape apologists, no means yes theories, and blaming the victim must cease. This to me is the number one issue in American feminism.
2. Sexuality: As long as we continue to view men as more sexual than women, we will face problems in conquering inequality. Women are sexual beings as well. The theory that women are less sexual than men leads to countless problems, including the aforementioned rape attitudes and several other attitudes as well.
3. Gender stereotyping in the family: I also refer to this issue as the provider/nurturer fallacy. While we continue to believe that the “natural” way of life is for men to be providers and women to be nurturers, we can never conquer sexism.
4. The masculinity/femininity line: We are taught from an early age that there is masculinity and feminity. Masculinity often involves strength, dominance, and competitive nature. Femininity is often associated with emotion, submission, and a more amiable disposition. The very idea that there is a strict difference in masculine and feminine is harmful to the progression of femininity. In actuality, these traits are more individualized, and any man or woman can have any combination of traits. The theory of strict difference is often used to justify sexist behavior.
5. The discriminatory isms: Sexism corresponds with heterosexism (discrimination against non heterosexual individuals), classism (discrimination between social classes), racism, and other less obvious isms, such as sizeism, ableism, and beautyism. If we allow one form of discrimination to be acceptable, where do we draw the line? As one who fights for the equality of women, I fight for the equality of all people everywhere.
These five topics are the ones that I will primarily focus on throughout the course of the blog. They cover only a small portion of feminism, but I do believe that if we change these five attitudes we could move forward in giant bounds.
I will blog about these topics and others, instigate social experiments and projects, research and critique article and books, and implement these ideas into my daily life. The goal of this blog is to instigate social change. Perhaps that is too high of an expectation, but I think it is reasonable. Feel free to read, comment, critique, suggest, participate….but please, be respectful and constructive.
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