Blaming the Victim

It’s time to talk about rape. Nobody likes to talk about it, nobody likes to think about it. It’s sad, terrifying, and disgusting. But it happens. Every two minutes. It’s happening now, and by the time you finish reading this it will happen again. So I want to talk about it. And more importantly, I want to talk about rape victims. Victims. That’s right. They are not slutty women who evoked uncontrollable sexual urges in a man. They are not vengeful women who want to ruin a man’s life. They are not stupid women who threw themselves into dangerous situations. They are women who were raped—forced, against their will, to have sex.

I want to know when it is okay to blame the victim. It is a common practice in our society to do so. At the bottom of the page is a link to a BBC article written in February providing statistics of a survey that indicates frightening statistics about blaming the victim. A vast majority of people polled indicated that under some circumstances, the rape victim is partially to blame. So I want to know when it is okay to blame the victim.

How about when she’s dressed like a slut? This is something I hear a lot, that a woman was “asking for it” if she was “dressed like that.” This argument is damaging, obviously to rape victims, who have just gone through the potentially most traumatic event of their lives and are now being blamed for something they had no choose about, but also to all men and women. Women: How often have you stepped out of the house in something that showed a little bit of cleavage or leg? Or even something that hugged your form? Were you aware that by doing so you were inviting all men to rape you? And what exactly is the line for provocative clothing? For anyone who thinks that a woman is to blame because of how she dresses, can you please go through my closet and tell me which clothes say “Rape me please” and which ones don’t? A woman should have the right to dress how she wants and not worry about being raped. If we blame the victim for dressing in revealing clothing then we are saying that our bodies are made to be raped, and that if we show off too much of them it’s just going to happen. And this theory is just as harmful to men. It indicates that men are highly sexualized creatures who have no control over their actions when they see a woman’s body. That’s ridiculous. Plenty of men have seen a “provocatively” dressed woman and not raped her. That is because a woman’s body is not asking to be raped, and decent men are not waiting around to rape women if they see enough skin.

How about when she walks alone at night? This theory astounds me. I have often walked alone at night because I did not have a car, or I was close enough to home to do so. And I should be able to do so….I should be able to walk alone at night and not be raped. Yes, there are precautions I can take, but instead of focusing on that, we should be focusing on why men are raping women in the first place. Instead of thinking, “She shouldn’t have been walking alone” we should be thinking “He shouldn’t have thought that her walking alone gives him the right to rape her.”

Or what about when she flirts with a man at a bar who later rapes her? What if she goes home with him? This theory indicates that if a woman flirts with a man she has some sort of responsibility to follow through on that flirtation by sleeping with him. And if she doesn’t do so, she should expect to be raped. So I guess we should do one of two things: Either we should never go out, never look at men, never flirt, or we should have sex with every man we come across. Otherwise, we’re asking to be raped.

No matter what the circumstances are, a woman is never, ever asking to be raped. We need to quit blaming the victim and start focusing on the rapist. Remember him? The rapist. The one who decided he had the right to ruin a woman’s life by forcing her to have sex with him? He’s the predator, he’s the criminal. The woman doesn’t need to be put on trial. First of all, all these rape theories leave out the truth that everyone likes to forget: most of the time, the rapist is not a stranger. He’s not just someone lurking in the shadows that saw a woman and had to have her. He is a familiar entity in the woman’s life. Second of all, rape is not about sex, it’s about power. If we rely on these theories then we are saying that rape is caused by uncontrolled urges of men, and that they simply can’t help themselves if women are giving them the opportunity. Third of all, it’s ridiculous to expect that women must avoid being raped. Rapists need to avoid raping. The only way I could insure that I am never raped would be to stay at home, never go outside, and wear a chastity belt, just in case someone broke in the house. Perhaps that’s what all women should do. Then maybe, they wouldn’t be blamed if they were raped.

So why do we blame rape victims? It’s a defense mechanism to keep ourselves separated from the situation. If I say that a woman was raped because of a specific reason, then I can feel safe. Then I can say, I won’t be raped because I won’t do that. But the truth is we are all in danger of rape. And not because of our own actions, but because there are sick people in the world who think it’s okay for them to rape. The only way we can hope to lower the rape rates is to quit blaming the victim or avoid addressing rape. We have to acknowledge it and start placing the blame where it belongs. Then perhaps we can start taking rape seriously as a crime. Our only hope is to show rape as what it truly is and should be considered: a heinous, unacceptable crime for which a rapist should be severely punished.



Click here to be linked to the BBC article:
"Women say Rape Victims Should Take the Blame"


**As a side note, I do realize this blog is limited because it refers to the victim as a woman. Men are also raped, and I will blog about that as well. I focused on women because they are the primary victims of the crime, but anyone can be raped, and no one is ever responsible for being raped.