It’s time to talk about rape. Nobody likes to talk about it, nobody likes to think about it. It’s sad, terrifying, and disgusting. But it happens. Every two minutes. It’s happening now, and by the time you finish reading this it will happen again. So I want to talk about it. And more importantly, I want to talk about rape victims. Victims. That’s right. They are not slutty women who evoked uncontrollable sexual urges in a man. They are not vengeful women who want to ruin a man’s life. They are not stupid women who threw themselves into dangerous situations. They are women who were raped—forced, against their will, to have sex.
I want to know when it is okay to blame the victim. It is a common practice in our society to do so. At the bottom of the page is a link to a BBC article written in February providing statistics of a survey that indicates frightening statistics about blaming the victim. A vast majority of people polled indicated that under some circumstances, the rape victim is partially to blame. So I want to know when it is okay to blame the victim.
How about when she’s dressed like a slut? This is something I hear a lot, that a woman was “asking for it” if she was “dressed like that.” This argument is damaging, obviously to rape victims, who have just gone through the potentially most traumatic event of their lives and are now being blamed for something they had no choose about, but also to all men and women. Women: How often have you stepped out of the house in something that showed a little bit of cleavage or leg? Or even something that hugged your form? Were you aware that by doing so you were inviting all men to rape you? And what exactly is the line for provocative clothing? For anyone who thinks that a woman is to blame because of how she dresses, can you please go through my closet and tell me which clothes say “Rape me please” and which ones don’t? A woman should have the right to dress how she wants and not worry about being raped. If we blame the victim for dressing in revealing clothing then we are saying that our bodies are made to be raped, and that if we show off too much of them it’s just going to happen. And this theory is just as harmful to men. It indicates that men are highly sexualized creatures who have no control over their actions when they see a woman’s body. That’s ridiculous. Plenty of men have seen a “provocatively” dressed woman and not raped her. That is because a woman’s body is not asking to be raped, and decent men are not waiting around to rape women if they see enough skin.
How about when she walks alone at night? This theory astounds me. I have often walked alone at night because I did not have a car, or I was close enough to home to do so. And I should be able to do so….I should be able to walk alone at night and not be raped. Yes, there are precautions I can take, but instead of focusing on that, we should be focusing on why men are raping women in the first place. Instead of thinking, “She shouldn’t have been walking alone” we should be thinking “He shouldn’t have thought that her walking alone gives him the right to rape her.”
Or what about when she flirts with a man at a bar who later rapes her? What if she goes home with him? This theory indicates that if a woman flirts with a man she has some sort of responsibility to follow through on that flirtation by sleeping with him. And if she doesn’t do so, she should expect to be raped. So I guess we should do one of two things: Either we should never go out, never look at men, never flirt, or we should have sex with every man we come across. Otherwise, we’re asking to be raped.
No matter what the circumstances are, a woman is never, ever asking to be raped. We need to quit blaming the victim and start focusing on the rapist. Remember him? The rapist. The one who decided he had the right to ruin a woman’s life by forcing her to have sex with him? He’s the predator, he’s the criminal. The woman doesn’t need to be put on trial. First of all, all these rape theories leave out the truth that everyone likes to forget: most of the time, the rapist is not a stranger. He’s not just someone lurking in the shadows that saw a woman and had to have her. He is a familiar entity in the woman’s life. Second of all, rape is not about sex, it’s about power. If we rely on these theories then we are saying that rape is caused by uncontrolled urges of men, and that they simply can’t help themselves if women are giving them the opportunity. Third of all, it’s ridiculous to expect that women must avoid being raped. Rapists need to avoid raping. The only way I could insure that I am never raped would be to stay at home, never go outside, and wear a chastity belt, just in case someone broke in the house. Perhaps that’s what all women should do. Then maybe, they wouldn’t be blamed if they were raped.
So why do we blame rape victims? It’s a defense mechanism to keep ourselves separated from the situation. If I say that a woman was raped because of a specific reason, then I can feel safe. Then I can say, I won’t be raped because I won’t do that. But the truth is we are all in danger of rape. And not because of our own actions, but because there are sick people in the world who think it’s okay for them to rape. The only way we can hope to lower the rape rates is to quit blaming the victim or avoid addressing rape. We have to acknowledge it and start placing the blame where it belongs. Then perhaps we can start taking rape seriously as a crime. Our only hope is to show rape as what it truly is and should be considered: a heinous, unacceptable crime for which a rapist should be severely punished.
Click here to be linked to the BBC article:
"Women say Rape Victims Should Take the Blame"
**As a side note, I do realize this blog is limited because it refers to the victim as a woman. Men are also raped, and I will blog about that as well. I focused on women because they are the primary victims of the crime, but anyone can be raped, and no one is ever responsible for being raped.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Goals
What is feminism? There are many definitions for the term, and all with very different connotations. But I define it as the critique of the inequality of the sexes, and the fight to diminish that inequality. And yes, I am a feminist.
I am feminine. In fact, many of my friends make fun of my girliness, including my three closets full of clothes, my eighty pairs of shoes, or my baskets of jewelry and other accessories. I straighten my hair, I shave my legs, I wear dresses, I put on makeup. I am heterosexual. I have a wonderful boyfriend whom I love, and have never had a problem finding loving, fulfilling relationships. I do not hate children, though I do not harbor a desire to reproduce at this time. I work at a preschool and love every minute I spend with my kids there. All of this is true about me, and yet I am a feminist.
Women have come a long way since the days preceding the first wave of feminism. American women are able to enjoy many equalities and freedoms that women before the feminist movements were unable to enjoy. Unfortunately, we still have a long way to go before we can say we have achieved true equality. Post-feminism is nonexistent. Many people use this term to indicate that we have moved on socially, past the need for feminism. I strongly disagree.
Obviously there are many other countries in the world in which the women have it worse than we do in America and other developed countries. However, I am not willing to accept the inequalities we do have because other women have it worse. There are still countless problems that women in America face, from attitudes to gender stereotyping to unequal pay and appreciation to violence. And as a young woman in America, I want to change that. I can’t change the world, but I think I can at least make an impact. And if I can’t, I must still try. But how do I do so?
The only place I can think to start is attitudes. If we change the attitudes directed towards women then we will have a better chance at changing policies and discrimination. To start, I will use this blog to conquer some of the major problems I see in attitudes towards women. These are the beliefs and attitudes that I think will be primarily addressing with this blog:
1. Attitudes about rape: If we are to advance gender relations, we must stop blaming rape victims. Rape apologists, no means yes theories, and blaming the victim must cease. This to me is the number one issue in American feminism.
2. Sexuality: As long as we continue to view men as more sexual than women, we will face problems in conquering inequality. Women are sexual beings as well. The theory that women are less sexual than men leads to countless problems, including the aforementioned rape attitudes and several other attitudes as well.
3. Gender stereotyping in the family: I also refer to this issue as the provider/nurturer fallacy. While we continue to believe that the “natural” way of life is for men to be providers and women to be nurturers, we can never conquer sexism.
4. The masculinity/femininity line: We are taught from an early age that there is masculinity and feminity. Masculinity often involves strength, dominance, and competitive nature. Femininity is often associated with emotion, submission, and a more amiable disposition. The very idea that there is a strict difference in masculine and feminine is harmful to the progression of femininity. In actuality, these traits are more individualized, and any man or woman can have any combination of traits. The theory of strict difference is often used to justify sexist behavior.
5. The discriminatory isms: Sexism corresponds with heterosexism (discrimination against non heterosexual individuals), classism (discrimination between social classes), racism, and other less obvious isms, such as sizeism, ableism, and beautyism. If we allow one form of discrimination to be acceptable, where do we draw the line? As one who fights for the equality of women, I fight for the equality of all people everywhere.
These five topics are the ones that I will primarily focus on throughout the course of the blog. They cover only a small portion of feminism, but I do believe that if we change these five attitudes we could move forward in giant bounds.
I will blog about these topics and others, instigate social experiments and projects, research and critique article and books, and implement these ideas into my daily life. The goal of this blog is to instigate social change. Perhaps that is too high of an expectation, but I think it is reasonable. Feel free to read, comment, critique, suggest, participate….but please, be respectful and constructive.
I am feminine. In fact, many of my friends make fun of my girliness, including my three closets full of clothes, my eighty pairs of shoes, or my baskets of jewelry and other accessories. I straighten my hair, I shave my legs, I wear dresses, I put on makeup. I am heterosexual. I have a wonderful boyfriend whom I love, and have never had a problem finding loving, fulfilling relationships. I do not hate children, though I do not harbor a desire to reproduce at this time. I work at a preschool and love every minute I spend with my kids there. All of this is true about me, and yet I am a feminist.
Women have come a long way since the days preceding the first wave of feminism. American women are able to enjoy many equalities and freedoms that women before the feminist movements were unable to enjoy. Unfortunately, we still have a long way to go before we can say we have achieved true equality. Post-feminism is nonexistent. Many people use this term to indicate that we have moved on socially, past the need for feminism. I strongly disagree.
Obviously there are many other countries in the world in which the women have it worse than we do in America and other developed countries. However, I am not willing to accept the inequalities we do have because other women have it worse. There are still countless problems that women in America face, from attitudes to gender stereotyping to unequal pay and appreciation to violence. And as a young woman in America, I want to change that. I can’t change the world, but I think I can at least make an impact. And if I can’t, I must still try. But how do I do so?
The only place I can think to start is attitudes. If we change the attitudes directed towards women then we will have a better chance at changing policies and discrimination. To start, I will use this blog to conquer some of the major problems I see in attitudes towards women. These are the beliefs and attitudes that I think will be primarily addressing with this blog:
1. Attitudes about rape: If we are to advance gender relations, we must stop blaming rape victims. Rape apologists, no means yes theories, and blaming the victim must cease. This to me is the number one issue in American feminism.
2. Sexuality: As long as we continue to view men as more sexual than women, we will face problems in conquering inequality. Women are sexual beings as well. The theory that women are less sexual than men leads to countless problems, including the aforementioned rape attitudes and several other attitudes as well.
3. Gender stereotyping in the family: I also refer to this issue as the provider/nurturer fallacy. While we continue to believe that the “natural” way of life is for men to be providers and women to be nurturers, we can never conquer sexism.
4. The masculinity/femininity line: We are taught from an early age that there is masculinity and feminity. Masculinity often involves strength, dominance, and competitive nature. Femininity is often associated with emotion, submission, and a more amiable disposition. The very idea that there is a strict difference in masculine and feminine is harmful to the progression of femininity. In actuality, these traits are more individualized, and any man or woman can have any combination of traits. The theory of strict difference is often used to justify sexist behavior.
5. The discriminatory isms: Sexism corresponds with heterosexism (discrimination against non heterosexual individuals), classism (discrimination between social classes), racism, and other less obvious isms, such as sizeism, ableism, and beautyism. If we allow one form of discrimination to be acceptable, where do we draw the line? As one who fights for the equality of women, I fight for the equality of all people everywhere.
These five topics are the ones that I will primarily focus on throughout the course of the blog. They cover only a small portion of feminism, but I do believe that if we change these five attitudes we could move forward in giant bounds.
I will blog about these topics and others, instigate social experiments and projects, research and critique article and books, and implement these ideas into my daily life. The goal of this blog is to instigate social change. Perhaps that is too high of an expectation, but I think it is reasonable. Feel free to read, comment, critique, suggest, participate….but please, be respectful and constructive.
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